I'm sure everyone will say something along the lines of this, but, really, -- Where did the last eight weeks go? My first placement has been such a journey with amazing highs and depressing lows. There have been days when I strutted out of school thinking to myself "Oh yeah, this is what I was born to do!" And of course, there have been other days when I have balled my eyes out during the drive home and said "There is no way I can do this for the next 40 years!" (Am I right when I assume we've all been at those two extremes?)
In past posts, you read vents about my co op. As I looked through my past posts for inspiration, I re-read about a time when I was frustrated with my co op and how different she and I are. While I don't want to amend what I said before about her, I do want to clarify some things that I recently discovered.
Even though my co op and I are very different, she has helped me become a more confident and laid-back teacher. Coming into CAHS, I would describe myself as a bit anal-retentive with my planning. For the first three weeks of teaching, I had to have every minute of every day planned out a week in advance. Ambitious, I know, but after a while it began to stress me out if I didn’t know exactly what I was doing a week in advance. For a while, I was too concerned with seeing what was ahead instead of enjoying the lessons in the moment. I feel as if my co op helped me "lighten up" and relax a little more as I taught. Because of this, I feel as if I connected better with my students once they sensed I wasn't as uptight.
In addition, I feel as if my co op and I have become good friends and I hope she and I will remain in contact. Yes, she cared a lot about the logistics of teaching and what she had to grade me on, but she truly cared about my well being as a person. By the end of my placement, I feel that any hiccups we went through together were simply little growing pains. I am so very grateful for the effort and concern she put into her time as a cooperating teacher.
Now this reflection brings me to my students...
It wasn’t until now (as I write this blog) that I realize how much I am going to miss my kids. (Yes, I refer to them as MY kids) In such a short time, I feel as if I have gotten to know them so well. Through discipline, funny conversations and in depth discussions, I feel as if they have molded me into the kind of teacher I always hoped I would be—a teacher who is tough and firm, but approachable and trustworthy. In the eight week window that I’ve peered into their lives, I feel as if I am closing a book that I wish I could finish. This journey has simply been too short and, if anything, I wish I had more time with my students.
Next week, I am headed for Big Spring High School to teach 10th grade and 12th grade (YIKES!) I am excited but sad at the same time because I will not be returning to CAHS. Coming into Big Spring, I can take all the frustration and jubilation I received from CAHS with me and hopefully make these last 8 weeks of my undergraduate career wonderful and memorable!
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Krysten,
ReplyDeleteI am really glad you loved CAHS, because it is a great school after all they have me to show for it! All kidding aside, I think your reflections have paid off and you will be ready for your next eight weeks and I have faith in you.
Edward
Krysten,
ReplyDeleteI think we've all had times during these 8 weeks where we've doubted ourselves a little bit. I know I definitely have, but like you said there are also amazing highs.I'm also glad that things improved with your co-op. It makes the experience so much better when you have a good relationship with your cooperating teacher. Good luck with 10th and 12th grade, coming from a high school placement I can tell you it will be fun. Good luck at Big Spring.
DITTO on your post! I know there were bumps in the road with my co-op, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't a valuable learning experience! He has been very helpful with me and has really been looking out for me and my mental state in the past few weeks.
ReplyDeleteI am going to miss "MY kids" too. They really felt like my own students, and I grew incredibly fond of many of them. It is hard to say goodbye and move on, especially when I'm moving on to high schoolers who probably won't be so into the class, but I am still excited about the opportunity to teach something new and grow as a teacher!